I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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