I've blown a few things in my day
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
