Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
