your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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