Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
