You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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