You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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