I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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