If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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