could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
