Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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