it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
