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• (775): View more from Nevada

  somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she kept yelling 'call me bella'

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  handjob tips. give me some.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I've always been the spiritual type.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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• (310): View more from California

  it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!

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