Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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