I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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