Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
