We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
