My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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