So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
