what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
