My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
organizing the empties. That sober.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
