"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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