It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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