I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
