I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
