how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
