I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
