walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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