he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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