redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
