My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
