I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
