She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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