So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
