Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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