Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
