The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize