He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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