Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
