Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
