I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
