I heard we made out
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We had to coat check the pizza.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
