You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
