Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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