He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
