Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
