i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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