this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I forget how to act sober
Randomize