Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize