so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
