either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
