I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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