I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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