yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
